There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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