but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
