I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
