not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
