it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
