I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
