He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
