i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
