Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
