Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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