Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
