How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
