I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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