Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
