we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
