You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
