can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
