I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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