I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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