she looked like the before picture.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
