Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
