you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
