Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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