His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
