And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
