sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize