I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
MIDGETS
????
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
