Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
