i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
