I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My life is pants optional.
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