All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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