just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
