The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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