i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
