Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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