i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
