hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
