I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
