i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
