You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
