He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
