haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I will die if light touches me.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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