I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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