How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
