you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
