Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
