if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have surprise drugs for everyone
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
