I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
