I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
