I'm jealous of your bromance
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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