i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
