My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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