drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He felt like a one man threesome
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
