When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
