girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
foreskin is a definite game changer
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
