its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
