Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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