Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
