No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
